Tuesday, February 28, 2006

A Note on Dating in the FS:

Don't.

Really, it's just not worth the hassle. Just accept the fact that you'll wake up one day to find you own a fern and two cats named for TV characters, and that there's nothing you could have done to avoid it. The best you can hope for is that your siblings send their kids to live with 'Crazy Aunt [Your-name-here]' for the summers. Take solace in your career, and maybe a nice hobby like crochet or mah jongg.

Unless you're a man. Then accept the fact that you'll soon have a [country-of-first-posting]ese wife.

15 comments:

Consul-At-Arms said...

Thanks for posting on this topic so that I don't have to; I'm an observer only in this area and have all the sympathy in the world for your plight.

Ken said...

That's like dating in the Army... Sorta kinda. Depending on where you get stationed, like Korea.

Shannon said...

It's like the old joke - you don't have to ask a male FSO where his first post was, all you have to do is ask where his wife is from.

Anonymous said...

My sympathies are with you. It shows the shallowness of most male FSOs and foreign males in general. Too intimidated by female FSOs to date them. They need a nice submissive foreign wifey.
My hubby is the exception -- we met on the first day of A-100. We sat next to each other, and as they say -- the rest was history.
Tandem-ness has its own challenges, but at least we understand each other's careers.
Delilah

Prince Roy said...

not true. no one gets married in Chennai.

Super Olive said...

I will always think you are wonderful, even if the cats get named after really bad characters, or you forget to water the fern, or whatever. You're too special to settle, Katie.

Now if you'll excuse me, you just reminded me about the fern.

Consul-At-Arms said...

So you're saying there will be no "princess roy" from Chennai?

Editfish said...

Any hope on holding out 'till one gets posted in DC? Just be vague about where you work until you can verify they have a valid passport and are willing to use it...

:D

Seriously, I sympathize completely. It's incredibly tough and shows extreme dedication.

Prince Roy said...

consul:
am already spoken for. But every single I know posted here has gone away still on the market. Except one, but that was an unusual situatoin, in that the 'local girl' actually grew up in Europe, has citizenship there and is for all intents and purposes European. So I think that doesnt count.

Silvie said...

Your observation is troubling. However, I think ferns and cats is the fate for many non-FSOs, too. At least you'll have a pretty romantic and impressive excuse.

Consul-At-Arms said...

Mmmm, ferns!

Anonymous said...

Deliah, I take exception to your comments. Why should you begrudge your fellow male FSO's the hapiness of finding a mate. You and your husband have found a relationship that works, so why should you have sour grapes? Does it really matter that if male FSO's marry foreign women?

How does it follow that when a man marries a foreign wife that he is "shallow?" Instead of being bitter about other people's happiness, perhaps you should focus on the more positive aspects. What is the alternative? Should male FSO's not have wives?

God, your comments suck. Anyway, gotta go my mail order bride is at the door. Later! Hugs, Otto

Anonymous said...

"...Shallowness of most FSOs and foreign males..." What brought foreign males into this? Do you mean the ones who married American women? You need to think before you post. All you're doing is displaying bitterness. Some FSOs may be less afraid of a foreign culture and willing to marry into it than your hubby. Foreign wives are not all subdued. Look around you, a lot of them have high degrees but they may also value family life and put it before personal career advancement. You don't have to have the same career to understand each other's careers. You risk ending up having shallow conversations...It's like a male FSO eating mayonnaise everyday and never getting a taste of Salsa and the other tasty foreign food. All your posts denote a lurking hatred for foreigners somewhere in your soul. You don't belong in the foreign service. Sour Grapes...

Anonymous said...

Yeah, Delilah! All men are shallow and all foreign women are submissive! These are the values we should be promoting in the world! FSO women dominate...woot woot!

Aritul said...

This is exactly what I thought, but I'd make the sacrifice.