Friday, May 26, 2006

Omphaloskepsis

Part of my HHE arrived today -- the part that I packed out of DC; the large shipment from Hawaii is still being pawed through by the Japanese border patrol. This smaller shipment contained CDs, books, clothes, some kitchen goods... and my new computer. After wiping the dust off of the desk by my bed, I carefully placed the iMac on its center, hooked up all the wires, and stepped back to consider it for a bit. It looked very friendly. Just pushing the power button would cause a whole range of pathways to the outside world to magically present themselves: IM, video chat, skype... I left it looking hopeful and glossy while I arranged my closet and got out food for lunch. The whistle of the tea kettle was the only sound in the apartment since the lone mover bowed his way out the door. I turned off the stove, and everything was quiet again.

I find I'm feeling more contemplative lately than not; certainly not in the mood to deal with the trauma of moving between extensive outside contact and abject immediate solitude. Both of those situations require different coping mechanisms, and today I'm opting to deal with the solitude and fold up inside of myself. Once you get used to being mostly alone, it becomes harder to venture outside of your own inner confines. Sometimes it's difficult not to resent intrusions, no matter how much you long for them.

On the plus side, my inner life is getting much richer (I'm reading more, thinking more, nesting down in my own head), though perhaps to the detriment of my outside relations. I suspect this will change come summer, when more people my own age are set to arrive. Maybe by then I'll have turned on the iMac.

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