Thursday, August 17, 2006

doubleplusungood refs unpersons

I think I may have come across the best job in the State Department. I used to think it was being the officer in charge of the Great Seal (wouldn't that have been a fun first tour?). But no -- there's actually a job that's even better: working for the Office of Rightsizing.

Besides the fact that you could spend all your time engaging in Orwellian Newspeak*, can you conceive of a more secure government position? I'm sure every rightsizing self-inspection shows the office to be mysteriously understaffed. You just KNOW they've got some 250+ persons employed there, probably one for every post, at least...

Also, think of the power! Imagine the look of fear and trepidation on the face of the principal officer when receiving a call from even the lowliest member of the rightsizing division. I'll bet you could 'network' yourself into any post you wanted following a tour with the OR [Note: considered using the acronym 'ORS', but 'S' was clearly extraneous and had to go].

*"In order to further develop the enterprise architecture for the United States’ overseas presence and promote internal and interagency mechanisms to better coordinate, rationalize, and manage the over-all deployment of U.S. Government overseas staff, thereby enforcing a uniform rightsizing framework, as defined by the GAO, and linking overseas staffing levels to firmly established foreign policy priorities through the precepts of competitive sourcing, which will allow the Department to move forward on regionalization initiatives while applying rightsizing standards systematically to final planning estimates for the staffing and design of all new mission facilities, the Osaka consulate will be correctly sized to the minimum required staff of a first tour Entry Level Officer and a part-time janitor. Oh, and also ignorance is strength."

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

freedom is slavery too. I don't know, I think i would rather be the seal guy.

your guy in peru

Anonymous said...

Sounds like the perfect job for Diana Moon Glampers.

Josh