According to an ad in The Washington Post, I could train to become a massage therapist in seven months. In nine months I could become a veterinary technician; in six months, a dental assistant. The total cost of the dental assistantship program? $898, and I can take all the classes online.
According to my FSI training schedule, in ten months I might be able to hold a very basic Arabic conversation. I'm not sure what Arabic training costs, but I imagine it's a bit more than $898.
Personally speaking, I would welcome a 'Massage Therapy' cone in the Foreign Service.