Friday, December 16, 2011

Helpful Tips for Protestors

Watching the protests here in Lahore, I wanted to offer you all a few pointers to improve your technique.

1. Take some time with your effigies

A lot of protestors overlook this, which is a mistake. Don't just throw something together with the rationale that you're only going to burn it anyway -- take some pride in your work. If we in the Consulate can't tell if your papier-mache creation is meant to be a NATO soldier, Barack Obama, or the Gollum, how can you expect the television viewers at home to distinguish? Rule of thumb: if your effigy requires the application of a hand-written sign to clarify the intended subject of your overly-simplistic reductionist parody, go back to the workshop and apply a little more paint.

2. Know your audience

I am sorry to report that neither President Obama, Secretary Clinton, nor "America" works at the Consulate. The only way to talk to "America" is to get a spot on The Voice; hand-delivered letters to the Consulate don't really do much in this regard. If you want to send either of the first two a message, however, I suggest using the post office; both their mailing addresses are online. You might also try moving your protest to France or Japan or some other country with a political appointee for an Ambassador. If any of us had a direct line to the President through which to deliver your memos, it's highly unlikely that we'd be stationed in a constituent post in Pakistan.

3. Get a map

It's weird how so many of the protests directed at the Consulate tend to station themselves two blocks away at the Press Club. A cynic would assume that you just want to be on camera. I assume you are very heartfelt in your convictions, yet directionally challenged.

4. Timing is everything

Readings of the moon clearly indicate that the most effective time for large-scale protest is from December 19 to January 4. Any overlap of those dates with my planned R&R is pure coincidence.


Jennifer Eisele said...

I just stumbled across your blog. My husband is starting A100 in January so obviously I'm spending copious amounts of time devouring everything I can about FS. Your blog is by far the best - definitely the most readable and concise and funny! And I've read alot of FS blogs...

Katie said...

I'm glad you enjoy it; I have a lot of fun writing it. Good luck to you and your husband. Maybe I'll see you at Main State or FSI.

Joanie B-L said...

have a great holiday, Katie. Merry Christmas and hurry up and post more, fast! I can't wait to hear what you observe about the USofA, now that you've been out a while. Safe travels. oxxo

Katie said...

Thanks, Joanie. Merry Christmas to you and your family, too.

Sharon said...

By publishing your "Helpful Tips," aren't you aiding the enemy? Have a great time with the family. I'll be looking for the pictures in your mom's PotD. Also, it looks like the Pakistans are still coming here in January. Everyday we wait for them to cancel.

Anonymous said...

Think I read a Pakistani Op-Ed saying the same thing about the Occupy Movement in the U.S., nah?

Domani Spero said...

I have included you in the 2011 roundup here:

Please let me know if you'd rather I omit your blog.